The Day I Decided to Leave the Merchant Navy: Why and What Happened
For most people, the idea of sailing around the world is a dream. For me, it was a reality — one I lived and worked in for over 18 months. The Merchant Navy gave me discipline, responsibility, and a deep sense of adventure. But one day, everything changed. It wasn’t a dramatic incident, a conflict, or an accident. It was something quieter, something internal — a realization.
I remember that day vividly. I was on my routine watch on the bridge. The sea was calm, the skies clear, and everything felt normal. But inside, I was battling a storm. I stared at the endless blue horizon and felt a strange emptiness. I had done this so many times before, and yet that day felt different. I asked myself: “Is this really where I see myself for the rest of my life?”
The answer that came was honest — and uncomfortable: No.
What Made Me Feel This Way?
It wasn’t just one thing. It was the build-up of many thoughts over time.
1. Mental and Emotional Fatigue: Life at sea is tough. Long contracts, isolation, missing family events — all of this started to weigh heavily. I missed being around the people I love. Celebrations, daily talks, even regular meals at home became memories I was desperate to relive. and i got in a relationship too, how fool i was a long distance relationship that too on ship , yes i got hurt and it was a very bad moment of my life. and it felt too alone , i had no one i can talk to about this still i believed in god and started praying . it really helped me and healed me . i was satisfied.
2. Lack of Long-Term Fulfillment: The job had pride and prestige, but I started to feel stuck. Every voyage began to feel the same. There was no room for creativity or personal growth. I began craving a career that would challenge me in new ways.
3. Desire for Stability: Living out of a suitcase, shifting ships, and uncertain contracts made me long for something permanent. I wanted a place to grow — not just professionally, but personally.
4. New Interests: I became curious about shore-based roles — voyage analysis, planning, shipping operations. I realized I could still be part of the maritime world, but in a new way.
What Happened Next?
That day, after finishing my watch, I went to my cabin and wrote down everything I was feeling. For the first time, I admitted to myself that I didn’t want to continue at sea forever. I promised myself that once I completed my current contract, I would begin preparing for life ashore.
It wasn’t easy. Telling my family, my seniors, and even my own heart that I wanted to change careers was hard. But once I accepted it, things began to fall into place. I started exploring roles in shore-based shipping companies, preparing for interviews, and even upgrading my skills.
Final Thoughts
Leaving the Merchant Navy wasn’t about giving up — it was about moving forward. I don’t regret my time at sea. In fact, I carry those lessons with pride. But growth often comes with hard choices. And for me, stepping off the ship was the bravest one.
To anyone else standing on the edge of a big decision: listen to your inner voice. Sometimes, calm seas bring the loudest answers.
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